The following article was taken from a Canadian Newspaper

A Short Guide to FINNISH Cruises

What's a red-faced creature with eight 24-can packs of beer in tow? A Finn coming back from a cruise.
On board a ferry, a Finn fits into a 24-hour day what it would take a week to do in the Canaries: gets drunk, gambles, eats fancier food for once - and lots of it! -spends money, ogles at foreigners (in this case Swedes), boogies until dawn, sings karaoke, has a sauna and picks up members of the opposite sex like flies.

It is often claimed that the big cruisers might as well just close their doors and float in the harbour for the 24 hours the average passenger spends on the boat. The summer season excluded, most of the passengers are not traveling from Finland to Sweden, they are simply on a trip, cut loose from everyday routines. To enjoy the boat trip to the full, follow these guidelines and you will not stand out from the crowd.

1) At the boarding gate, there is a photographer who snaps a 'funny' photo of each passenger. Try and avoid looking at the camera, or at least pull a weird face.
2) Take your bags to the cabin and run it down as crowded, stuffy and crappy. Rip open all the sachets of soap shampoo and toiletries and stuff a terry towel or two in your bag. You've paid tor this trip dammit
3) Head for the bar. The spiritual cornerstone of the boat trip is strong beer, inexpensive enough to justify quaffing it down like water. So much booze, so little time.
4) Sing karaoke, preferably worn-out classics. House of the Rising Sun is a good choice, it always works. Go to the duty free shop. Jostle people, stand in their way, make loud, wondering remarks on how incredibly cheap vodka is on the boat and calculate how much you'll save when you buy your booze on board. Dozens of marks! Never mind that you'll be spending at least a thousand during the trip.
5) Drink more beer and hungry as a wolf, head for the number one classic of Finnish cuisine: the buffet. Grab a plate and heap onto it as much food as you can carry. Herrings and pig's trotters go together well. Just start shovelling. Wash the grub down with as much strong beer or cheap wine as you can hold!!! Pick a table as close to the beer taps as possible Never mind good table manners. The time is limited so it pays to gobble down your food as fast as you can.
6) Tummy full visit your cabin. On the way you can peek into cabins where those too young to get into pubs and restaurants are drinking oceans of beer and smoking like chimneys. Don't mind their shouts of "Fuck you"; it's just their way of being International. Go to your cabin and have a shot to perk you up after the heavy meal. Put on your evening wear, that is something a bit more festive. For women any tight, short, glittering back-to -the-80's clothes are ok. Men wear wrinkled shirts and a leather waistcoat, jeans too tight at the waist and too loose at the bum, and cowboy boots that have seen better days.
7) Go to the nightclub. Propose intimate contact to anything that moves. Finns are rather straightforward and women are used to having men come up to them and say "Hi there, I'm Markku. How about a fuck in my cabin?" If the lady is not inclined to cooperate it is logical to call her whore. Women can look down their noses at the men openly and say out loud to their friend "Ugh what a face".
8) At four o'clock the night club closes its doors. Start haunting the corridors. Accept a drink from anybody who offers you one. A seasoned traveller sleeps in the lift, toilet or corridor. The cabin is not that easy to find when you're comatose.
9) Wake up in the morning wishing you were dead. Teeth unbrushed, hair uncombed, make your shaky way to the bar and have a beer.
10) Wow, the boat is full of my kind of people, it's a wonderful world and I love boat trips. Swedish broads have incredible bums, I have friends and I am on top of the world. Get on board!